The Transformative Power of Forgiveness In Marriage
You may have times when you’ve been hurt or feel angry toward your husband. They may have said something that devastated you or performed some behavior without thinking that triggered feelings of frustration and anger. And yet you still hope to stay married and restore your marriage.
The wisest thing to do is to forgive whenever you have these experiences. But forgiving often proves to be more challenging than you think!
Read these points about forgiveness to better understand why it’s best to forgive:
Refusing to forgive harms you more than the individual you’re upset with.
There’s an old saying about poison damaging the vessel in which it’s found and that saying applies here. You’re not hurting the individual you refuse to forgive nearly as much as you’re damaging yourself. Consider the ongoing hurt feelings you’re compelled to hold on to.
Forgiving allows you to release the pain.
Whenever you say, “I forgive you” to someone, you’re instantly freed from holding on to the grudge. You can now move on and live your life as peacefully as possible. Carrying excess emotional baggage is something to be avoided if at all possible.
Most grudges become bigger than we are.
They just seem to take over your entire existence. You may convince yourself, “I will push this individual into a little box in my mind and not think about them,” yet, you’ll soon find that to be impossible. You have to live with your husband.
Do you really want to live a life that includes you avoiding your spouse? Grudges grow. And the more you hold on to them, the more time and emotional energy it takes to keep them going.
You can decide to be the “bigger” person.
I know you don’t want to. You feel he doesn’t deserve for you to “be the bigger person”. Why do you have to be the bigger person all the time? It’s not about them or punishing them. It’s about you experiencing a life of joy and happiness without any restrictions. You can tell yourself that you’ll forgive because it’s the “right” thing to do or because the Bible says so or for whatever personal reason you believe.
When you live by a particular set of morals and values, the Holy Spirit may insist that you be the one to forgive. Listen to it.
Forgiveness bears many fruits.
Although you may be unaware, your husband may realize the true error of his ways and decide to try harder to live a more caring existence. Or they may learn something about forgiving others and apply it in their life.
You may also enjoy many more wonderful times and events with your husband. Rember, you don’t want to punish him AND yourself. You withholding love and affection from him means you also are not receiving love and affection. Reconnect so that you can enjoy the blessing and privileges associated with marriage. Everyone wins when you forgive.
When you forgive, you’ll have lower blood pressure.
It’s a medically proven fact.
Vengeance and resentment flourish in those who refuse to forgive.
Would you choose to feel hurt, angry, and resentful or peaceful and happy? And remember, Romans 12:19 says that vengeance belongs to the Lord. He does not need help fighting for you. He’s got this and knows exactly what needs to be done!
Sidebar: Forgiveness DOES NOT mean you are accepting his infidelity or inappropriate behavior. Forgiveness also does not mean reconciliation. After offenses occur, it is imperative that you create boundaries and accountability within your marriage so that reconciliation is even possible.
But, either way, you must choose forgiveness so that you can experience the life you’ve been praying for.
When you decide to live a life that truly reflects Christ, you may have more room to forgive. Realizing that forgiveness is in your best interest and the best interest of your family, you can move forward and re-discover a bright future.
The power of forgiveness is within you. Use it for your own greater happiness.
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