(Video) The secret to resolving conflict without yelling. (This works even when you’re right!)
Unfortunately, many of us have been in this boat where an issue arises. We try to talk to our spouse about the problem and possible solutions. They either tune us out, Ignore us, Ask us to stop nagging or challenge everything we say.
Don’t feel bad sweetheart, you are not alone. We’ve all been there before.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can actually have a tough conversation with your hubby without him becoming defensive or dismissing your concern.
Watch the short video below.
The strategy I want you to implement is knowing your triggers and your husband’s triggers.
We all have them. Having a trigger doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. There are certain things your husband can say that will take you from 0 to RAGE in -4 seconds.
For example, my husband knows, he probably doesn’t want to walk away from me during a disagreement. I’m not saying I’m going to jump on his back. BUT, that gesture will probably make the conversation escalate dramatically.
He also knows that raising his voice at me is a no-no. I am still a little chocolate girl from the Boogie Down. I grew up tough, but, a man yelling at me hurts my feelings. So we stay away from that.
There are triggers that you and your husband have. There are some that are obvious, but others that are not as obvious. Often the ones that are not as obvious can cause the largest struggles. That’s why I help my clients uncover the surface triggers and the ones below the surface.
How this gets you what you want?
By knowing what your triggers are, you can prevent most of your arguments from escalating. It creates safe boundaries for both you and your husband. You eliminate the pain associated with feeling dismissed or the shame of embarrassing or disrespecting your husband in order to get your point across.
Now, do you see how important it is to uncover triggers so you can get want you want?
I would like to help you dive deeper into resolving conflict in your marriage. I am hosting a free webinar called “Stepford Wives vs. Strong Willed Wives. The death of unresolved conflict in marriage and how to settle disagreements without losing your identity.”
This webinar will cover:
- The secret to resolving conflict without yelling. (This works even when you’re right!)
- Silent treatment not working? The proven strategy that strong-willed wives use to resolve conflict.
- The Venus Fly Trap: You’ll never be accused of nagging again when you do this!
If you are a wife that is struggling with having tough conversations with your husband, you need to attend this free event. Just enter your name and email below and I will email the webinar to you.