Are you scared that God won’t answer your prayers and heal what concerns you the most right now?
Do you find it hard to believe God is going to transform your husband and renew your marriage?
I have heard this time and again from wives in my community: “I don’t want to waste my time believing that God will fix the areas in my husband that I am most concerned about”.
I can totally understand because I use to think this way too. In fact, I even put up emotional walls around me so that no one could even see the brokenness I was experiencing. I looked good on the outside. Like I had it all together. Teaching about the goodness of God yet doubting that he heard my cries. Don’t get me wrong though. I believed God could do anything but fail. Unfortunately, I didn’t believe he loved ME enough to heal me from the many years of heartache I experienced before marriage or that he would keep my husband from doing things that would hurt me. I was scared to dream about his blessings. After experiencing so much heartache from others that were supposed to love me, could I really accept that God wanted my marriage to be renewed?
Believing that God saw every tear that I’ve shed and had plans to bless ME was hard. Because of the pain, I had carried for so long, I felt disconnected from God. My pain clouded my vision so much that I doubted that God would heal the broken areas in my heart & marriage. So I chose to suffer in silence. God wasn’t going to heal my marriage and I would have to live with my pain.
After the birth of one of our daughters, I started to experience postpartum depression. Loneliness consumed me. It felt as though there was nothing but darkness around me. My marriage seemed to be holding on by a thin thread. I got tired of rehearsing the lie in my head. “No one can help me. I have to keep these walls up around me so that I can protect myself.”
It was a lie I was repeating to myself day after day.
But, then I had an “aha!” moment that God wants to restore the broken areas of my life so that I can give and receive love to others. God also wanted me to pray for my husband and the broken areas in his heart and mind.
So here are 3 reasons why “you have to suffer in silence” is not true.
Let us break things down once and for all!
You are limiting the power of God by not expecting him to do great things in your life. He WANTS to exceed your expectations. But, if you are not expecting anything, what are you giving him to work with. Stop believing the lie that God wants you to suffer. He wants you to dream big and stretch your faith beyond your imagination. What is that one thing you are thinking about right now? That thing you are even afraid to say out loud. Yes, that thing! I challenge you to give that to God and trust that he is faithful to his word. He will always go above and beyond what you expect.
As we develop patience, the Bible says we finally feel completely satisfied and lacking nothing. Even our relationship with God involves progressive changes. God is not a genie that jumps every time you call. We are a spoiled generation that wants, what it wants when it wants it. We rush in everything we do. But, God wants to mature a couple of things in you. If you change your focus and allow God to work on you, he can bring you to a level of maturity that is beyond your imagination. What if your current struggle has nothing to do with your marriage? What if God was using this situation to mature you so that he can fully use your gifts for his glory?
I challenge you to change your perspective regarding your situation and focus on God. Ask him to reveal to you what lesson he wants you to learn in all of this. Ask him what he wants to do in you and through you for his glory. I promise if you stop focusing on yourself and nursing your wounds, you will begin to experience beyond your wildest dreams.
When the children of Israel were running from Pharoah, they arrived at the Red Sea. They had nowhere else to go and were at the end of their rope. They were scared, they were hurting and needed God to do something…anything. God told Moses to stretch for his staff and stretch his hand over the sea. He gave Moses the power to do something that would forever shift the lives of everyone connected to him. Yes, God could have just parted the sea on his own without Moses doing anything. But, I believe there are a couple of things God wants you to see in this demonstration.
#1 – Faith without works is dead. God wants you to display your faith by following the instructions God has already given you. Even if it looks like there is no hope, he wants you to obey his instructions without wavering. Focus on his promise and not the issues standing before you.
#2 – God has given you the power to change your atmosphere. Yes God can transform your situation. But, he has given you the power of prayer and declaring his word. Use it. Stop playing the victim. No, I’m not disregarding the trials you have experienced. But, are you going to stay on the floor and allow it to continue to hover over you?? God forbid.
#3 – Stop looking back. Moses saw the chariots coming. He didn’t stop and focus on what was going wrong and all the negative possibilities. If he became paralyzed with fear, that children of Israel may never have made it into the promised land. Moses chose to turn his back on what could go wrong and focused solely on God and everything that was about to go right. It was a choice. I encourage you to stop focusing on what is going wrong and focus on what God has in front of you. Focus on God’s promises and what he wants to do in your life.
As you can see, thinking that you must suffer in silence is actually untrue… I will always remember that fateful day when I realized that I don’t have to keep emotional walls up in order to protect myself. I no longer believed that God was distant from me and my situation. He was always right there empowering me to push through what I was facing.
And, I promise the same remains true for you too.
Stay blessed and continue to trust God Sis!
Want to reignite romance back into your marriage, have your husband love you the way you want to be loved, and eliminate conflict in your marriage before it even starts?