I have coached and mentored wives for the past 15+ years. All this experience has resulted in the development of a profound emotional healing process, called Restorative Boundaries After Infidelity Method, which anyone can learn and use throughout their marriage (free course available – see the resource box at the end of the article). The first step of this process is willingness.
Without your willingness to do whatever it takes to heal, you will not begin the journey of healing and embracing love. Doing whatever it takes means that you are ready and willing to feel, learn about and take full responsibility for your own feelings. You are ready to address your own pain, fear, anger, hurt, aloneness, loneliness, disappointment, depression, sense of safety, worth, and joy. Willingness means that you are ready to become aware of controlling your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. You are willing to face whatever it is you fear so that you can heal from the pain that is causing the fear.
You are ready to move out of denial about the pain you are in, ready to stop hiding from yourself. Willingness means that you are ready to become aware of how much you want control over your pain. How you try to control others and over the outcome of things you experience.
Until you are ready to see how deeply you want to control everything, and all the subtle ways you try to have control, you cannot fully heal.
You are ready to acknowledge that you cannot find your safety without spiritual guidance. That you are ready to invite God into your heart to nurture and guide you…without any resistance. You have embraced the journey, the sacred privilege of God’s healing, and how it can transform your entire life.
As long as you are in denial about your pain, you will not recognize that you may be sabotaging yourself. This might hinder the opportunity to fully experience life the way you want. Your denial is one of the ways you are protecting yourself against pain. You may not be willing to move out of denial until loving yourself becomes more important than avoiding your pain.
You must be able to see if you are believing or behaving in ways that are hurting you. Pay close attention to what is going on within your mind and emotions. Feelings of pain, anger, anxiety, hurt, fear, and loneliness all occur within your mind and emotions. When you numb your emotions with substances or shut out your experiences by ignoring them, you are creating more harm.
It’s time for you to realign yourself on a new path toward your own wholeness and inner healing. Be willing to feel your pain and address it now!
If you are ready to start the healing process and take action on your dreams? Enter your name and email address to join our free Restorative Boundaries After Infidelity workshop.
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