5 Secrets About Life And Struggling With Control Issues

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Hello Sis!

I wanted to share with you a season when I got stuck in an old habit.

Anxiety, worry, fear, and doubt crept into my brain and started to wreak havoc on my blood pressure.

Let me make a looooooong story as short as I possibly can.

My hubby AND my car were out of commission.   When I tell you disaster hit my home regarding vehicles…I MEAN DISASTER.  

A very popular mechanic shop destroyed my husband’s engine.  No seriously.   I know most people say “the mechanic didn’t fix the problem”.  But, we brought his car to the shop because it kept overheating.   They completed all the repairs.  We picked up the car and while we drove 5 minutes away from the shop the car LITERALLY overheated.  AGAIN.   Not just overheated.   The head gasket blew.   

Now I don’t know much about cars.  But, I do know one thing.   When you fix a problem, the problem should stay fixed.   If it falls apart in 5 minutes.  It ain’t fixed.  (yes I said ain’t, lol)

They gave us a lame excuse and tried to blame it on us.  They quickly realized “I am not the one to play with’👩🏾​, then immediately reimbursed us our payment in full.

The fact that they reimbursed us all of our money lets me know that they know they messed up BIG TIME. 

While my hubby’s car is in the shop, my car was also in the shop with a transmission issue. 

Now, just in case you don’t know.  We live in Texas.   There is no public transportation.   I’m from New York and very accustomed to jumping on the train or bus if my vehicle isn’t working.  Well, you can’t do that out here.   

So here are the things I was struggling with:

1.  My husband has to get to work.  He needs a vehicle of his own.

2.  When is my car going to be out of the shop?​

3.  How are we going to still be an active family of 6 while both vehicles are “in the ER”.  (Actually, my husband’s car is in the morgue.  SMH)

4.  Did we do something wrong and are we being punished?  

control issues

Those are just the top 4 questions that bombarded my brain.  And would not let my brain go.

Then, at 4:30 in the morning, as my husband was getting ready for work…..our wifi went out.  Now I don’t know about your home, but, my home can not function without WIFI.   So I am freaking out.  I did everything I could on my end to try and fix it.   Then I got on the phone with my service provider and they said there was an hour wait to speak with a customer service representative.  

After 10 minutes of waiting on hold.  I hear the Lord say very clearly, “GO…TO…SLEEP!”   For the first time in a while…I listened.   Not that I have a habit of not listening to God.  I just have a BAD habit of not letting go of things.  I am like a dog on a bone until the problem is solved.

But, God had been trying to speak to me throughout this entire vehicle situation.  I heard him every single time he spoke.   But, I wasn’t listening.  Every time I became transfixed on an issue and how to solve it, I clearly heard him say 

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6.​

I was being anxious about everything and trying to figure it out on my own.  My blood pressure was through the roof and I was doing waaay too much.  When all he wanted me to do was trust that he had it all under control while I just relaxed.

  • God didn’t want me to try to figure it out.
  • He didn’t want me to worry about how it was going to work out.
  • God just wants me to REST and trust him.

Why do we make life so much more difficult than what it already is?   Our God wants to take care of every issue we are confronted with.   But, we spend our days and nights wrestling with it.   

When we choose to wrestle with an issue, we are telling God a couple of things: 

1.  We think we are smarter than him and can work it out better on our own.

2.  We don’t trust him to fix the problem.

If we are not careful, we will kill ourselves while trying to do God’s job of taking good care of us.

God doesn’t want us to struggle.  He also doesn’t want us to walk in fear or doubt.   

So, this is the friendly reminder God wanted me to accept when I woke up that morning and my wifi was back to running perfectly on its own.

1.  Quickly know the difference between what you have control over and what you need to release to God.  When God fixes a problem, it stays fixed.   We don’t have to keep going back for more repairs.   “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”.​  1 Peter 5:7

2.  Trials will come and go.  It’s what you do in the midst of the trial that defines you and your relationship with Christ.  “And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”  Deuteronomy 31:8.​

3.  When you experience a tough season in life, they are not necessarily punishment for something you did or did not do.   You don’t serve a God that walks around waiting for opportunities to “punish you”.  His promise is to protect and provide for you.   “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.”  Romans 8:28-29.​

4.  Learn to rest and trust that God has good intentions for your life.  

“For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11.​

5.  Always ask God what’s the lesson he wants you to learn in the midst of your current season.  God will always use things that occur to mature us and draw us closer to him.  He will reveal to you something about yourself that you need to either heal or get delivered from.  He also wants you to learn about his character in a deeper way that will authentically build your relationship with him.  “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hears my voice, and opens the door, I will come into him and will sup with him, and he with me.”  Revelation 3:20

Do you have all the answers?

  NOPE.   But, you can rest knowing that God’s got me.  He is fully aware of your situation.  He’s got total control and He always WANTS to bless you.  And you know what….. That’s all you need!

So be encouraged.  Cast your cares on God and trust he has already provided a solution to whatever is in front of you.

Be blessed, my sister😉

P.S.  If you are struggling with letting go of worry, doubt, or fear in your life and marriage, I have an amazing resource available just for you.  Click here to check it out.  The Ultimate Wives Starter Pack.

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