3 tips that will help you start the healing process so that you can restore your marriage.

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Some women are struggling with overcoming the trauma they have experienced in their childhood or during their relationships.  There are many ways to overcome these issues and start the healing process.  But, I’ve noticed that some overlook the most important issue when trying to restore their marriage.  So I want to share with you 3 tips that will help you start the healing process so that you can restore your marriage.  It all starts with a simple concept of addressing your Emotional Triggers.

When you start the healing process it is important that you focus on knowing your emotional triggers.  Emotional triggers are dormant places inside of you that are activated when someone says or does something in particular.  It is normally directly connected to a belief or painful experience from your youth or past relationships.  

For example, I use to have Daddy issues and tend to feel abandoned.  There was a time in my marriage when, if my husband didn’t answer my text message or my phone call, I would spiral out of control.  “You don’t love me. You don’t really care about me. He is just tolerating me because you have no other choice and it makes you look good.

WHAT?!!??  Where did that come from?  Well, the feeling of being overlooked or abandoned is associated with my childhood feelings and beliefs that developed from interactions or lack of interactions with my father.  

So this unresolved trigger from my youth directly affects situations that occur in my current marriage. Go figure. 

Now some of our reactions are warranted because of the behavior of our spouse.  Sometimes they have “done” things that would naturally trigger an emotion because of how grave the offense is.

But, in order for you to respond rationally, resolve conflict more effectively and allow wisdom to guide you, you must make sure your triggers are not running the show.  

So I had to address the situation and start the healing process.  

#1 Know your triggers

Identify your top three emotional triggers that cause you the most pain and throw you completely off balance. For instance, when someone criticizes your weight? Or when someone ignores you?  When people seem to busy to join hang out with you. Choose the triggers that you see activated in your marriage the most. Write these down in your prayer journal to help you pray consistently for your total healing from them.  

#2 What’s the root of this trigger

You are not triggered just because. All triggers started out somewhere. Knowing where your triggers come from allows you to know yourself better.  It also helps you to identify any lies that have become a part of your belief system.

#3  Fix the problem

You have to reprogram your mind and your emotions to react differently in situations that you would normally be triggered.  You have to reaffirm yourself and rehearse the truth that God wants you to accept.  Substitute every negative belief with a positive belief so you can properly start the healing process.  

There you have it darling.  I know these 3 tips will help you.  They’ve helped my clients and myself overcome years of emotional bondage.  

If you are needing help breaking down these walls I would love to mentor you through with my group coaching program Ultimate Wife Academy.  Your healing can begin today! Click the link for details now! –> Ultimate Wife Academy

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