(Video) “Why your worth is not based on how your husband treats you.”

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Let me first start by saying this is not about husband bashing.   Not at all. We love our husbands. This post is about you realizing your worth and value regardless of what is going on in your marriage.

I’ve been getting a lot of DM’s, calls and emails from women that are enduring a difficult season in their marriage.   Because of this difficult season, they are taking things extremely personally. When you are at your worse, you doubt everything God says about you.

Now I’m not saying that you need to accept mistreatment or neglect from your spouse.   If he is a repeat offender that continues to mishandle your heart, you need to have serious conversations and possibly create healthy boundaries.

Check out my full video here.

So let’s jump right on into the “Why your worth is not based on how your husband treats you.”

  • Do not allow an issue in your marriage to make you feel like you are not valuable.   Even if your husband is neglecting you. You are still valuable.
  • Do not feel like something is wrong with you because your husband has decided to turn his back on his responsibilities or duties.   His lack of diligence is not a reflection of you.

We are all selfish people that have to continually refocus and align our walk with God.   Daily.   Do we always get it right?   NOPE. And we won’t always get it right. But, we are diligent pursuing what is right.

  1. Your identity, worth, and value comes directly from your creator.   If you do not know who you are outside of your marriage, you will get lost in your marriage.   You will look to your husband for validation and affirmation. Yes, these are things that will enhance your marriage and make it more blissful.  But, your validation and affirmation come directly from God. If not, you will spend most of your time feeling broken and worthless. 
  2. Your husband isn’t God.  He has flaws just like you.   He will make mistakes.   Unfortunately, there will be times when he mishandles you and your heart.  This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or value you. His mistakes just mean that he is human.   He is a broken individual just like you that is trying his best to get this thing called marriage right.

There are 3 things I need you to remember:

  1. You are beautiful
  2. You are valuable
  3. God has a plan for your life. 

That’s it!   Your beauty, value, and purpose are not contingent on your husband.  It is solely based on God. You can’t earn it. It is not a matter of you being worthy of it.   God has a divine purpose and plan for your life. You are special to him. You are unique and different from others because that is the way he made you.   

Why is it important for you to know your worth?  Once you know who you are, you will act differently.  You will remain the same regardless of who interacts with you.  When you know who you are, you act differently. You don’t sway because of the people around you.   You don’t fall because your environment has shifted.

A doctor does not change his position simply because he is standing in Walmart.   When someone passes out, he immediately goes into his role and does what he should do because he knows who he is.   He doesn’t stand there looking confused because his surroundings are not accommodating his title. He remains a doctor.  His knowledge and expertise are still with him.

Even when others are losing their minds and try to push him away from the scene because THEY don’t know who he is.  He will stand tall and simply say “I’m a Doctor”. He will let those that are pushing against him know who he is. And what normally happens?   They will then usher him to the front of the line to the person that needs his help.

What I need you to get this evening is that YOU are royalty.  You are a child of a king. That does not change because of your surrounding or because others do not know who you are.  Regardless of how they are trying to push you down or away from where you are trying to get, YOU STAND TALL and simply say “I am the child of the King.  I am valuable. I am important. I am beautiful.”

You don’t lower yourself to accommodate someone else.   You won’t shrink up so someone else feels good about themselves.  You stand tall and remind yourself exactly who you are. Every time the enemy tries to fill your mind with lies, you stand tall and remind yourself who you are.  

There is true power in knowing who you are and walking in it.

Your Homework:

  1. Stop going to your husband to affirm what you are worth.   Your identity and value come from God.
  2. Write down the top 2 things you are currently struggling with when it comes to self-worth.   
  3. Find a scripture that speaks directly to that.  Recite that scripture every time you are struggling.   For example, if you don’t feel beautiful, you can recite —> You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.  Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! (Ps. 139:13-16) 
  4. Hit the share button and let your sisters know about this post.

Scriptures to read and reflect on over the next 7 days:

  1. Ps. 139:13-16)
  2. (Eph. 2:10)
  3. (1 Pet. 5:10)
  4. 1 John 4:7-8
  5. Matthew 7:12

**I believe in marriage!  My husband and I have experienced many ups and downs.  But after 16 years of marriage and 4 children, we know without a shadow of a doubt, that marriages can be restored.  If you are currently struggling in your marriage, I would love to help you, your spouse, and your marriage.

Join my free 5-day online course where I will teach you the “5 Stages Of Rebuilding Trust In Your Marriage”. ?  


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