Let me be honest right from the beginning. I have issues with control. Well, let my husband tell it…”I am a control freak”. I like to create plans, have a defined structure, and get results. To me, this isn’t a bad thing. It is the foundation of having a successful life. Right? Well, sometimes being a control freak can actually be evidence that you are not fully trusting God. This was definitely evident in my marriage. So after many years of trying to do things my way, I fully surrendered to God’s way. I want to share with you what I learned when I really decided to trust God with my marriage.
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Imagine my surprise when the Lord gently tapped me on my shoulder and reminded me that I am doing too much. I was so busy trying to fix everything on my own, that I kept getting in God’s way. I had to fully surrender to the holy spirit and align myself with my desires/prayers. Not manipulate situations in an attempt to get results. Just sit back and align myself with what I am desiring while God does the heavy work needed in my marriage.
When you are preparing for a baby, you start baby-proofing your home. You get the nursery together. You physically began to do all the things you believe are necessary to set the atmosphere for your baby’s arrival.
Use that same level of energy and anticipation for your marriage. Set the atmosphere in your marriage. This is the external work that is sometimes overlooked when restoring a marriage. Make your home peaceful, warm, and loving. Allow it to be your sanctuary. A happy marriage does not have a bunch of loud yelling and chaos. Make sure the tone and environment align with what you want to experience in your marriage.
When I was preparing for my baby, I started eating right. I prepared myself mentally for what I was expecting.
As you prepare for the marriage of your dreams, what is the inner work that needs to be done in you to experience the marriage of your dreams? What areas do you need to address so that a healthy marriage can grow?
You can not produce a healthy marriage when bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness are dwelling. Even if it is hidden in your heart. It will still grow and show up subtly in how your interact with your husband.
What do you want Boo? Speak up and be clear about how you desire your marriage to look and feel. You are a confident, bold, and ambitious woman in work, business, and ministry. Do not take a back seat in your marriage.
Settle yourself and identify exactly what you would like to experience within your marriage. We already know loyalty and commitment are mandatory. Absolutely no cheating!!!! But, let’s dive deeper. What does your ideal marriage look like? How does it feel? What are the habits you two intentionally created so that you grow together in LOVE?
Paint a picture of what you want to experience in your marriage and how you want it to me, then pursue that.
If someone came around you talking about miscarriages while you were pregnant, you would get away from that conversation quickly. You would be intentional about surrounding yourself with positive visuals and conversations about your baby.
Do the same thing for your marriage. Surround yourself with a positive representation of marriage.
Who is in your circle of friends right now? Who is speaking into your marriage? Check that first. That will determine the path your marriage will take. Connect with couples and organizations that represent successful marriage. Choose to focus on things and situations that will bless your union.
Stay Blessed Sis!
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Want to reignite romance back into your marriage, have your husband love you the way you want to be loved, and eliminate conflict in your marriage before it even starts?