Connecting Love And Marriage

In order to master anger management, you need to gain control over your emotions. You’ll need to get into a mindset that allows you to think before you act or speak.

If you don’t learn to control your anger, you may destroy the relationships around you and cause physical and emotional harm to everyone, including yourself.

About Anger

Anger serves an important purpose. Anger is an emotion that tells us that something is wrong. It may even help us to get out of dangerous situations, but sometimes the threats are just perceived and anger is not an appropriate emotion.

Anger itself is not the main problem here though. It may help you to try to feel less angry in some situations, but for the most part your goal should be to learn how to express yourself in a healthier way.

Understand God’s view surrounding Anger Management.

God is very clear regarding anger management.

Proverbs 14:29 – People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 – “Keep your temper under control; it is foolish to harbor a grudge.”

Ephesians 4:26 – If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day.

Proverbs 15:1 – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Psalm 37:8 – “Don’t give in to worry or anger; it only leads to trouble.”

Ephesians 4:31 – Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort.

2 Timothy 2:23-25 – But keep away from foolish and ignorant arguments; you know that they end up in quarrels. As the Lord’s servant, you must not quarrel. You must be kind toward all, a good and patient teacher, who is gentle as you correct your opponents, for it may be that God will give them the opportunity to repent and come to know the truth.

Romans 12:21 – Don’t let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Accept that God has given you the power to control your emotions and anger.

Stop flying off the handle or popping off saying you couldn’t help it.  if you are a born-again believer, you have the holy spirit within.

Galatians 5:22-23 says: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

If you are not able to control yourself, you are operating against the holy spirit.

Decided you will release your anger to God.

It all starts with a decision to let go.  Release vengeance and allow the Lord to handle the situation.  Take the burden off yourself to “set people straight”.

Allow God to do what only he can do, “Pierce the heart of his children and move them to repentance.”  That’s the ultimate goal, right?  Not vengeance!

Your desire should be for your husband to walk upright and align his actions, thoughts, prayers, and heart with God.

Here are some practical strategies that will help you to keep a cool head:

1. Don’t React. Think about the situations that have gotten you into trouble in the past. You likely immediately reacted to the problem with angry emotions. Whenever you’re presented with a stressful situation, it’s important to make sure you don’t pop off. Think about what’s really going on, and then decide how you really feel about everything.
2. Take Cool Down Time. You’re not always in a situation where you can take as long as you want without a reaction. If you’re feeling extremely angry, make sure you take a few moments of cool-down time. Before you react, try counting to ten in order to give yourself at least a moment to get into the right mindset.
3. Don’t Worry About Others. Sometimes you feel terrible about other people’s opinions of you. When you get caught up in making everyone else happy, you end up forgetting about yourself. This is how your emotions can take control, but you can only ignore yourself for so long.
4. Start Exercising. A daily exercise routine can help you to release energy and emotions. If anger arises, you can also go out for a walk or play some sports as an outlet for that anger.
5. Don’t Hold Grudges. A grudge only hurts you in the long run. Learn the art of forgiving and healing. This will bring peace to you and the person you’re holding a grudge against.
6. Learn Healthy Anger Expression. The trick is not to completely ignore your anger, but to express it in a healthy manner. After you have taken some cool downtime, consider your words and communicate why you’re feeling angry in a calm way.
7. Practice Relaxation. Anger arises more often if you’re tense and stressed. Study different relaxation techniques that will help you to unwind.

Some of these techniques include:

1. Yoga
2. Meditation
3. Taking a Bath
4. Deep Breathing
5. Listening to Music
6. Journaling

Suppressing Your Anger

You may think that you have mastered your anger, but you might actually be suppressing your anger, which could end up making everything worse.

When you suppress your anger it ends up buried deep inside and will come out in undesirable ways. You could start to feel overly stressed, you could get headaches, or you may even start to have problems with high blood pressure. Your mental health may begin to suffer as well. Suppressing anger has been known to lead to life-long problems with depression.

You should remember that if you’ve been feeling especially out of control, seek the help of a trained professional.