(Video) “Painless ways to deal with in-laws that don’t like you”

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When you said I do, you didn’t just gain a husband.   You also gained his entire family and anyone that believes they are a part of his family.  This includes play cousins, the neighbor down the street that ate dinner at their house every day and is now considered his sibling, and the uncle that no one is really quite sure how they are related.  Regardless of how they are attached to your husband, what matters is how he feels about them.   It would make for a fairytale if everyone got along and embraced you with open arms.  But, as we all know, this isn’t always the case.   Holidays, birthday parties, and family gathering take on an entirely different meaning when you have to engage with people that might not be very fond of you.   But, it doesn’t have to be painful.   Here are “Painless Ways To Deal With In-Laws That Don’t Like You.”

Check out my full video here.

So let’s jump right on into the “Painless ways to deal with in-laws that don’t like you”

  1. Regardless of how they feel about you, you are responsible for your actions and reactions.

    It can be challenging to walk into a situation where you know people have preconceived opinions and expectations about you.   Or, maybe they just don’t like that you are “taking” their son, brother or cousin away from them.  It’s ok.   You are not responsible for them.   What you are responsible for is making sure you are representing God when you interact with them.

  2. Make sure you and your spouse are on the same page.  

    Talk to your husband about how you are feeling.    Remember you two are in this together.   Be honest but, gentle with your words. He will be able to give you feedback about the situation that you are unaware of.  Family history, conflicts, or insecurities are a couple of things your husband should have a better understanding of.  You might be amazed by the information that he shares with you.

    Be consistent with in-laws regarding your united front.

  3. Be firm and direct

    Never have your husband speak for you if you have an issue with someone in his family.   You are grown.  No need to hide behind him.

  4. It probably isn’t really about you

    They are battling their own demons.

  5. Don’t try to fix them

    Make sure your expectations are reasonable.  You might want your in-laws to be SUPER loving and affectionate.  But, maybe they weren’t raised like that and don’t know how to show that kind of love.   Life is easier when you accept people for who they are instead of trying to change them.   When you are constantly in “I need to fix them mode”, you are signing up for a battle that isn’t yours.

  6. Set healthy boundaries

    No borrowing money from in-laws.   No giving keys to the house to family members.   Sit down with your husband and come up with boundaries that work for both of you.    When in-laws try to infringe or make their rules, your rules, stand firm.   Don’t allow them to pressure or guilt you into accommodation their needs over your family needs.

  7. Remember, hurt people hurt other people

    Don’t feed the issue by responding with anger.   It only fuels it.  Especially if they are purposely doing things to irritate you.   They want a negative reaction.  Giving them a negative reaction only 

Your Homework:

This homework is only for grown women.  Little girls won’t be able to do this. This assignment is going to take true maturity.  

  1. Identify one in-law that you have a strained relationship with.  For whatever reason, ya’ll just can’t get along.
  2. Sincerely pray for them.  Ask God to show you if you’ve done anything to damage the relationship.   Some of you won’t even have to pray about it. You know you cut up and that’s why ya’ll aren’t talking anymore.  Lol
  3. If/When God does show you, I want you to reach out to that person and apologize.  
  4. If you took an honest look and haven’t done anything wrong, ask God to heal them from all old wounds.  Hurt people hurt people. It’s not always about you. Then ask the Lord to bless you with an opportunity to show them, love.   

Scriptures to read and reflect on over the next 7 days:

  1. 1 Peter 3:8-11
  2. Colossians 3:13
  3. Leviticus 19:18
  4. 1 John 4:7-8
  5. Matthew 7:12

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