(Video) Can a Marriage Recover From Resentment?

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Marriages can recover from resentment, but it takes time and consistent effort from both partners.  Resentment is the byproduct of not truly healing a wound between people.  Ignoring the problem and praying that it will go away on its own will only encourage resentment to grow.  Resentment thrives in isolation, suffering in silence, denial, and recontamination.  

There are a couple of things that MUST happen in order for a marriage to recover from resentment.

Check out this video below to discover the hidden signs of resentment that are slowly tearing your marriage apart and how you can quickly stop the process.

You must first recommit to the relationship. 

You can’t go into this on the fence.  Halfway committed on Monday and by Wednesday you’re ready to let go of your marriage.  

Accept that this journey is not going to be easy. 

Let go of the lie the enemy is feeding you that if there is a struggle, then you are married to the wrong person.   Every time there is conflict is not a sign that you have married the wrong person.

The most powerful thing you can do in order to experience victory during this season is to strengthen your relationship with God before you dive into rebuilding the marriage. 

If you have experienced marital trauma, that is a sign that the enemy is fighting against your marriage.  Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 1 Peter 4:12.   

The enemy does not want to pay patty cake with you. 

He wants to destroy and eliminate the glory of God that is supposed to be revealed through you, your marriage, and your children.  The enemy knows that if he can keep you and your husband fighting against each other, then you two will never turn and fight him!  This is the real enemy of your marriage.  Marital trauma is just the fruit.

Now of course no one is denying that your husband has offended you. 

He allowed the enemy into your marriage and now you are struggling with emotions that you never thought you would have to face.  But, that is only the fruit of the greater problem.  

Look at it this way.  One of the side effects of diabetes is some patients experience nerve damage that can lead to amputation of the lower limbs.  Amputation is NOT the root of the problem.  The root of the problem is diabetes.  So you can choose to focus on the fruit of the problem and prepare for amputation.  Or you can choose to address the root of the problem which is diabetes.  Changing your diet and lifestyle would help prevent amputation.

This applies to your marriage as well.  Marital trauma does not have to lead to Divorce.  Marital trauma is just the fruit of the real problem.  The enemy had declared war against your marriage!  Are you just going to sit there and allow him to win?  Absolutely not.  

Would you allow the enemy to attack your child?  Absolutely no!  If you are anything like me, you would declare an all-out WAR against every plat, scheme, and tactic of the enemy.  

Do not patty cake with the devil! 

It’s time to fight for yourself, your marriage, and your family!   Victory is already yours!  You are not fighting from a place of defeat.  You are fighting from a place of divine victory.  

Remember, David was declared the King by God. 

But, he also had to diligently obey God and subdue the land that was promised to him!  He went against his enemies and took what was rightfully his.

David didn’t just sit on the sidelines waiting for God to bring victory to him.  King David subdued the land.  He fought.  Without resistance, he looked his enemy straight in the face and snatched back everything that belonged to him.  

This is not the time for you to be timid regarding your marriage. 

It’s time for you to boldly proclaim what God says and subdue.  Subdue comes from the Hebrew verb, “kavash”(KAVESH), and it literally means to place your foot on the neck of your conquered enemy and bring them under complete control, in a subservient position. 

This is not the time for you to patty cake with your enemy.  It’s time for you to place your foot on the neck of your CONQUERED ENEMY You must be intentional about pursuing with the full armor of God.  He wants you to emphasize two aspects.   

The Shield Of Faith and the Sword Of The Spirit 

The shield of faith – extinguishes all the flaming arrows of the enemy.  This is defense. 

Faith is acting like God is telling the truth.  Being obedient to God’s view regarding obstacles in your life.  Acting on God’s word.  Not what it currently looks like.   

You must fight for your marriage and fully trust God.  Obey his instructions Immediately and completely.  Be sheep with total reliance on him.   

The sword of the spirit which is the word of God.   We must use the word of God to fight against the enemy.  Not cliques, not affirmations.  Only the word of God spoken word of God will cut through.  This is an offense weapon. 

You are empowered to use the word of God in combat against the enemy.  Prepare for battle.   

But in order for you to not fall for the tricks of the enemy and forfeit our victory, we must intentionally emphasize the shield of faith to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one and the sword. 

When Paul describes the sword, he describes a dagger that is used in hand-to-hand combat.  That means you are up close and personal with the enemy.  This is not the time to throw yoru favorite affirmation at the enemy.  He cares nothing about your cliques.  But it is the word of God that will cut through the lies.

In order for you to do this, you must use the sword of the spirit.  The sword of the spirit is the only offensive weapon in the full armor of God.   

You must get off the fence of second-guessing your marriage and fight for your life, your home, your marriage, your relationships, your ministry, your purpose, and your finances! 

So here is your practical application! 

  1. Create a list of the top 3 areas of your marriage that you are struggling with.
  2. Over the next 7 days, you must find a scripture that speaks to that specific issue.  Write that scripture on a couple of postcards.  
  3. Recite them 3 times a day, you will declare that scripture over your life, marriage, and family.  As soon as you wake up, halfway through the day, and before you rest at night.

By doing this, the word of God will begin to take root in your heart.  So when the enemy tries to trick you into doubting God or forfeiting your promises, you can defeat him with the weapon that guarantees victory. 

Fear will not overpower you!

Doubt will not overtake you.

Mountains and obstacles will no longer keep you from everything God promised you

Be bold like David and pursue everything that God has for you.  Fight against your real enemy.  Trust God and stand on his word.  

Your marriage WILL be restored because you will intentionally battle the way God intended.   

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