My family and I recently moved and spent the weekend unpacking. While going through a box of pictures I started to reminisce on the families, friends and couples in each picture. After a while, I realized there were 7 pictures I couldn’t put back up. Each was a picture of a couple that was no longer together. I just sat there in disbelief. Out of the 10 pictures, there were only 3 couples that were still together. I couldn’t believe it an my heart ached for our friends. Of course this made me ask the painful question….. Why are so many marriages ending in divorce?
Of course we can come up with the usual answers. Money issues, infidelity, midlife crisis, in-laws, lack of communication, etc., etc. Many marriages experience these issues, but, don’t end in divorce. So what’s the difference. I truly believe these issues are only the fruits of the problem. There is are underlining problems that needs to be addressed.
If you’ve been married longer than a day, you know this is not the case. Yes you should be able to enjoy your marriage. But, it isn’t the source of your joy.
Unfortunately, there will be seasons in your marriage when you won’t like your husband. What will you do then? If you set him and your marriage up on this pedestal as your source of joy, what do you do when it fails you. Because it will fail you. Don’t believe the fairy tale. Your husband will not ALWAYS make you happy. During those seasons, you are at risk of falling into a deep depression if you are not correctly connected to your true source of joy.
Remember that God is the only being that can give you true joy. He has the ability to give you joy in the midst of your most trying times. Stay connected to him.
It is impossible for a marriage to last if you have two people that are constantly fighting to be in control. Fighting to have things done their way. Our selfish desires will always create a power struggle.
We have to learn to compromise and put the needs of your marriage ahead of your desire to get what you want.
Proverbs 16:18 says “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Pride will always ruin a marriage. It will always lead you down a road of destruction. Prideful people are very self-centered and think only about what pleases them. That isn’t what marriage is supposed to be.
In marriage, you are supposed to love each other the way Christ wants you to love your brothers and sisters. When you are being prideful, it’s almost impossible for you to consider the needs of those around you. Humility is definitely needed in order to serve and love someone in a way that honors God. We can’t live a self-centered life and serve God. It’s counterintuitive.
We live in a world where we can get what we want when we want, and how we want it instantly. Our microwave society has created a generation of people that are willing to wait for anything. We want people to jump when we make a request. A healthy marriage will never be like that. Patience definitely is a virtue that many of us our now lacking.
We can’t just snap our fingers and expect our husbands to turn into a perfect man of God. The same way YOU are a work in progress so is your husband. Allow God to do what he needs to do in and through your husband. You can’t put a time limit on how long this should take. You have no control over that and it isn’t up to you. That is between your husband and God.
When I married my husband, I stood before our Pastor and a room of our friends and family. But, most importantly, I stood before God. I made a vow to God that I would love my husband and stick with him. In sickness and in health I would stay by his side and work things out. My commitment wasn’t to my husband. My commitment and promise were to God. So when I walk away from my marriage, I am also telling God that I lied and can longer keep my promise to him.
We have to submit ourselves to God during our marriage. Trust that God is in complete control and totally aware of what is going on. Allow God to work on you. Give your husband and marriage to God and allow God to do what HE feels must be done.
Your Homework: Study these scriptures every morning to help you grow closer to God and cultivate your relationship with him.