Whoever created the term “Live happily ever after” obviously wasn’t have been married. The concept of total marital bliss is very misleading. Don’t get me wrong now. You will have amazing times with your husband. Sharing life with the man you love can be a dream come true. But, be clear. At times, it could feel like a nightmare. Disagreements and misunderstandings are inevitable. He will say something wrong, do something, or just BE plain old wrong. LOL You don’t have to allow this to affect how you love on him. I am a witness. Here are my “5 secrets to being a loving wife even when you are mad at him.”.
Your husband is going to make mistakes. He is not perfect. Neither are you. Once the newlywed bliss has lifted, reality will set in. You are two different people with two different upbringing and expectations. You will disagree. There will be challenges. Being in love with him does not eliminate the challenges. It makes experiencing those challenges a little easier. The sooner that you accept that your marriage will not be a 24 hour, 7 days a week fairy tale, the better off you will be.
Choose your battles wisely. Sometimes you just have to let things go. If it is not a life-changing, marriage shattering issue, leave…it…alone. Stop before you open your mouth and ask yourself if your reaction is really worth it. I used to fuss ALL the time because John would never put his dirty dishes INTO the sink. He placed them on the counter right next to the sink. This drove me crazy and I made sure he knew it every single time I saw a dish ON the counter.
It wasn’t until one day I was talking to a couple of women and one of them said her husband always leaves his dishes on the couch in the living room. Then another one chimed in saying her husband is rarely home for dinner. WOW! Well, that kind of put it all into perspective.
Look……You can either hold your grudge or hold your man. But, you can never do both!
When you are legitimately angry, you need to get it out of your system so it doesn’t turn into bitterness or resentment. Let it go, girl!
Whatever you need to do calm down, do it! The more you hold on to it, the angrier you will become.
Men don’t think as we do. They don’t see situations the way we do. Your husband most likely doesn’t know why you are upset. He probably doesn’t understand what the problem is.
Be calm. If it is a deal-breaker, let him know. Be rationale regarding your expectations. You have to know where your Boo is right now. Don’t expect him to do and say things that are way out of his grasp right now. You wouldn’t fuss at a newborn baby because it can’t run right now. You would handle the baby according to the level it is on. The same thing with your husband. Right now he might not be making 6 figures. Don’t beat him up about that. Be grateful for where he is, nurture and support him. One day he might get there. But, until then, appreciate him for where he is right now and support him as he continues to grow.
He probably didn’t mean to upset you. Most men don’t walk around plotting ways to make their wives yell at them for hours. Actually what normally happens is, they do something stupid and then stand there looking like a deer in headlights. Don’t take his offense as a personal attack. He most likely had absolutely NO INTENTIONS of getting in trouble.
You are also going to make mistakes. It’s inevitable. How would you like him to respond? Would you like him to yell? Give you the silent treatment? Make you beg? Withhold sex? (Ladies, stop doing this to your man. PLEASE!)
You need to get into the habit of responding the way you would want your husband to respond.
If you are struggling with resolving conflict with your husband because it normally turns into a shouting match, check out my Fix My Marriage Bundle. It will show you how to have tough conversations that end faster and with better results.
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**I believe in marriage! My husband and I have experienced many ups and downs. But after 16 years of marriage and 4 children, we know without a shadow of a doubt, that marriages can be restored. If you are currently struggling in your marriage, I would love to help you, your spouse, and your marriage.
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