Like most women, you are trying to do everything you are supposed to do as a wife. But, it is hard because you are focused on or distracted by what your husband is or is not doing. Figuring out how to restore your marriage might seem impossible.
My frustration was that I felt my husband was never going to change his behavior. We would have long conversations that would either end with me in tears or me yelling at him. No results. No solutions. Walking away from another issue knowing that it would probably come back up again because he just doesn’t get it.
#1 – Suffer in silence Pretend that everything was wonderful in my marriage. You know how it is. Looking to look like the perfect family in the church, at family functions, or anytime we are in public. All while dying on the inside. Feeling lonely, unheard and unloved. Losing hope of having the picture-perfect marriage that I always dreamt about.
#2 – File for divorce and start all over again. Did I really want to do that? What about our children? I had to consider how this would affect their life.
Plus, let me tell you something that some divorced and remarried couples experience.
This is my second marriage. I was confused early in our marriage because there were certain characteristics that both my ex-husband and my current hubby have. Some good, some bad. There were certain behaviors or things they would do that would trigger negative reactions from me.
After 1 failed marriage and another one spiraling out of control, I had to ask some hard questions and really allow God to address somethings that I was choosing to overlook.
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We’ve tried everything we could think of but nothing has gotten us those permanent results that make reconnecting with our hubby easy. The silent treatment. Avoiding the issue. Yelling, Arguing, Counseling, talking to your Pastor, girlfriend, and mother. But nothing worked.
I get it. I was right there a couple of years ago.
In order to have a successful marriage, you have to go back to the beginning and start with your belief system.
These are childhood examples of marriage that you’ve seen or didn’t see as a child. I was raised with my mom and dad until I was 12. I watched my mother be submissive to my father, even in times when I felt he didn’t deserve it.
Once my mother died, I became more observant of relationships and how men behaved in these relationships. I didn’t always have the best examples.
These examples gave me a deep-rooted belief that submission is a HORRIBLE thing and I would NEVER do it. I vowed that I would always make my own money so that if he cut up, I could quickly check out.
Without knowing it, this belief system subconsciously prepared me to leave my marriage and never work things out.
But, that isn’t what God wanted for me or my family. He ALSO didn’t need me to be manipulating the situation and trying to fix my marriage all by myself.
#1 – allowed me to heal from old belief systems that were destroying my marriage and
#2 – restore my marriage.
After I went through this process, I was able to gain clarity and create a system that my clients and I have used to restore our marriage. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married 1 year or 25 years.
So if you really look at your marriage, do you have a preconceived belief system about marriage that is affecting how you love and receive love? Have childhood or past experiences somewhat tainted your view of marriage? Before you said I do, did you two discuss expectations you have for each other. Or were you like most couples and caught up in the excitement and bliss of love.
I did this with my client Lisa. Lisa was struggling with a broken marriage that led to her depression and the inability to just be happy. We started working together and first addressed her belief system. There were a couple of areas from her childhood and past relationships that affected her view of marriage. We identified a couple of hindering beliefs about relationships and realigned them with the word of God and her expectations in marriage. The transformation instantly allowed her to experience the breakthrough she had been praying for 6 years.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about accepting or ignoring behavior that goes against the foundation of your marriage.
I am talking about a process that teaches you how to mentally take a step out of your situation and look at it through the lens of Christ.
I have taught this process to my clients. Each and every one of them was able to turn their marriage around. They were able to restore their marriage and finally reconnect with their husbands on a deeper and more meaningful level.
I have 2 more steps I would like to share with you. Register for the next part of this training by clicking here → http://bit.ly/2mncA1p
But if you know you are ready to restore your marriage, schedule a Discovery Call with me so we can see if working 1 on 1 with me would be a good fit for your situation.
If you are ready to get on a call with me right now click here to apply —> http://bit.ly/2IZtT1J