Hi! Good morning from the Philippines! I’m Mary and thank you for allowing me to part/member of your club. I just wanna say I was so uplifted by everything in your blog and I would like to ask you something. I really don’t know how I will deal with my husband. I’m too emotional sometimes I may tend to freak out. We’re actually a new couple, we just got married last February. So I still don’t how to react to situations wherein with my husband. Sometimes I have a fear that my husband has someone else because we’re actually far from each other. And, it’s really hard for us to even we talk a lot. Sometimes we over-communicate, I tend to think and emotionally freaking out. I do pray and have a devotional every morning. But I can’t get over my fears about what will happen in my marriage.
We had a bible reading time before we got married and our relationship is really a God-centered. But when we got married it slowed down. My husband is usually the one who leads and tells me to read daily. Now I’m the one who always asks him if we can read. I don’t know what’s wrong and I asked him about it but his answer is not clear. He said I was the one doing the reading so, just do it.
Is there anything I did wrong that is making my husband not read the bible a lot anymore? Has his faith loosened up? I feel that he might backslide and I don’t want that to happen to him. Please help me out on what will I do. Thank you and God bless.
Good morning Mary,
Thank you for contacting me. I am so sorry you are experiencing this situation. I understand what you are feeling because I have felt the same way before. Many wives experience this at some point in marriage. Before you got married, your husband said and did things that made you fall in love with him. This could range from guided prayer time to date nights while cuddling in your living room. Unfortunately, after you get married, sometimes situations will change. Life happens and sometimes men forget about the things that made you fall in love with him. This does not mean he does not love you. It also does not mean you did anything wrong. Sometimes, life just happens. Our husbands tend to get consumed with leading our households, providing for the family and the other 1001 things rolling around in their brain.
Here are a couple suggestions:
Invite your husband to participate with you. If he does, then that is wonderful. If he doesn’t, just keep praying.
Ex. His love for God. How he encouraged you to read your word. Say this in a loving and gentle tone as a form of appreciation. Not in a manner where you are trying to get him to start doing those things again. Men love to be flattered and appreciated. Your appreciation will soften his heart towards you and remind him how to love you.
Simply say “I hear what you are saying. But, for some reason, I don’t understand. I really want to understand what you are saying to me. Can you please explain it a little differently.”
I hope this helps Joy. I will keep you and your marriage in my prayers. Thank you so much for trusting me with your marriage. I hope these suggestions and resource that are available for you helps. Have an amazing day!
1. My workbook “Help! How to stay married when times get tough.” is amazing and helped many women transform their view of marriage. You can check it out here –> Help! How to stay married when times get tough.”
2. I would love to support and coach you through this season. I have 3 coaching opportunities available over the next couple weeks. If you would like to grab one for just you or you and your husband, click here for more details —> Marriage Coaching
Want to reignite romance back into your marriage, have your husband love you the way you want to be loved, and eliminate conflict in your marriage before it even starts?