We live in a society where being a stay at home mom is looked down upon. Today’s women must be ambitious go-getters. Many moms are working outside of the home. Either by choice or financial responsibility, we have entered the workforce and have taken it by storm. We are running billion dollar businesses and changing corporate America. Some women are doing this while juggling being a wife and motherhood. Why? Because we are superwomen. We can do it all. Times have changed! We are kicking butt and taking names as we move up the ladder of success. This is what the modern mom looks like. Or does it?
I just read a book called “Honest To God?” by Bill Hybels. This book is amazing! It makes us take an honest look at our relationship with God. Are we cultivating an authentic relationship with God and the people he has placed in our lives? It challenges us to stop trying to fit into a mold society has created for us. It reminded me to continually take an honest look at myself and my ambitions. I’ve never been one to “fit the mold”. I did my best to make sure no one placed me in a box or placed a label on my forehead that restricted me.
The downside to that is there are times when my ambitions superseded God’s desire for my life. Then I sometimes made the mistake of “successfully” ending up out of his will. Whatever I tried to do, I was successful at it. Launching a new business, engaging in ministry, taking care of my family. I felt like I was superwoman. But, was I supposed to be doing everything that I was trailblazing to do?
There were times in my life where I was clearly out of the will of God. It wasn’t that I was necessarily doing anything “wrong”. I just wasn’t doing what was “right” for me. God has a specific purpose and plan for us. He created us to accomplish specific things that will impact the lives of others and draw people to him. If we are ambitious without his guidance, we risk conquering the world and neglecting the people he blessed us with. Our families.
I had to train myself to sit back and ask God “Is this what you have for me, or do I feel I need to prove something to someone?” There are seasons when God just wants me to focus solely on my children. This was a huge struggle for me because I watched my mother (a stay at home wife) devote her life to taking care of her husband and children. I witnessed the neglect and sometimes disrespect she received and vowed I would never be a stay at home wife. Plus, my entire life my father always told me “No matter what you do, make sure you can take care of yourself. Never rely on a man for anything.”
Talk about two conflicting views. So I leaned towards my father’s domineering personality and became ambitious and strong. I didn’t need a man and felt the need to prove I am stronger, smarter and wiser than any man. Anything you can do, I could do better. Why? Because I was strong and independent. Always ready to break the mold and step out as a trailblazer. I felt the need to always prove that I am not the weaker vessel.
My mother gave her life for her husband and children. I didn’t see then, what I see now. It took me years to see the strength my mother had. Her love and commitment to God and her purpose, while she was on earth, was astounding. She was dedicated to what her purpose was. It didn’t matter what the naysayers said. It didn’t matter who looked down on her. My mother knew who she was in Christ. Her obedience to him was all that mattered. Her steadfast diligence in saying yes to God is implanted in my mind and my heart. It reminds me of Revelation 2:10 “Be thou faithful unto death and I will give you a crown of life.”
God showed me that the power is not in working outside of the home vs. working in the home. Both are remarkable. The real power is in knowing who I am in Christ and faithfully walking in his divine will.
When we take our eyes off society and focus solely on God, we can truly walk in His will for us. That is all that matters. Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails”. As moms, we have nothing to prove to this world. There is no mold that we have to fit into. There is no point in trying to fill a role and define what a modern mom should look like. Because it is different for all His daughters. God has given each of us our own gifts and talents. Those gifts and talents will be used to edify the body in whatever way he feels is best. Fulfilling the purpose God has given us is the only thing that will last.
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Heavenly Father, help me to walk in your perfect will. Teach me how to use the gifts you have placed in me. Strengthen me to use them for your glory. don’t allow me to be distracted by what my sister is doing. Remove the desire to compare myself to the success of others. Don’t allow me to get caught up in who society says I should be. Make me confident in who you say I am. I surrender to you an ask that you will always be done in my life. In Jesus’ mighty name. Amen!
Sincerely your daughter,
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