Whew!!!!! Motherhood. I have heard it referred to in so many different ways. Some very negative. Others very positive. Personally, I believe it is the best gift God has ever blessed me to enjoy. Seriously! Having children was something I never wanted to do. I am the oldest of……well let’s just count the children my mother and father together in this equation…I am the oldest of 3. As the oldest, there was a lot of responsibility and expectations placed on me. So me having children was NEVER in the cards. No, ma’am. I wasn’t doing it. No way.
Thank God he softened my heart and allowed me to see the joy I could experience in having children. Once touched my heart, I went from wanting to have 0 children to wanting to have 8 girls. Yes I wanted all girls. That in itself is another long story that I will share at another time.
The Lord blessed me with 4 AMAZING girls!!! I am head over heels in love with these girls. NO, they are not perfect. They get in trouble just like every other child does. Thank God there hasn’t been anything life changing they have done wrong, but, they are kids. They are going to say and do things that will make ME want to run away from home. That’s life. That’s Motherhood. But, there is MUCH more joy, laughter, good times, and love than there is “insanity”.
Here are my 5 little know factors that affect motherhood!
The number one reason I believe there is more joy, laughter, good times and love is because of prayer. I pray! I pray without ceasing. Every single issue, worry, concern, doubt, weight is brought to God in prayer. I didn’t always pray though. In the beginning, I was the crazy mommy. I always felt like I was ruining my children and falling short on this motherhood thing.
It wasn’t until I sincerely and consistently prayed for my children and released them to God that I began to see major changes in all of our relationships. From a child that didn’t want to read. Yes, I said that correctly. The child could read, but, refused to read. To siblings that refuse to speak to each other without the entire neighborhood hearing them. We’ve faced our challenges. I’ve had to allow God to show me what I can do to help my children. Then, give the rest to him. Motherhood has taught me how to trust God like never before.
This is so important and unfortunately, we may be falling short in this area. I’ve heard mothers say motherhood is the most unrewarding job ever created. I beg to differ. It depends on your mindset and what your expectations of reward are. Are there times where I feel unappreciated and unloved? YES!!! But, then I have to snap back to reality. #1 – What am I expecting of them? #2 – Am I expecting something I haven’t modeled for them?
Each one of my children has a different way of showing their love. I’ve had to watch and learn how they show their love and appreciation. Alexia loves to send me random texts. Something silly that always makes me laugh. Aleah is my dancing partner. There doesn’t even have to be music playing. If I bust out with a couple dance moves, she jumps right on in there and breaks it down with me. Sometimes, just seeing the smile on their face makes me feel they appreciate what I am doing for them. Don’t get me wrong though. Of course, I am teaching them the common courtesy of the word “Thank You”. But, there are times when their actions let me see just how much they appreciate me. The right mindset will allow me to enjoy and receive how they show their love and appreciation.
This thing right here as blessed my socks off. With 4 children that are active in many different activities, I’ve had to come up with systems that keep us on track. If we don’t follow the system, pure insanity breaks out in my home. There is a system for every aspect of my home. From who sweeps the floor to who gets in the shower first at night. Yes, we have wiggle room and the system doesn’t always get followed. But, for the most part, we run a tight ship over here so that everyone is able to enjoy our home and the life we live.
We also have family meetings every Sunday! During our family meetings, we all sit down with our google calendar and plan for the week. If there are any conflicts we’ve been having with the family, we go over them and try our best to come to a resolution. Are the meetings always an amazing productive session? NOPE! lol, Remember, there are 5 females and 1 male involved in these family meetings. Each one of us has a strong opinion and 2 of us (I won’t say who, lol) like to randomly throw off-topic comments into the equation. So it has its moments of insanity, but for the most part, they have brought us closer together and helped our lives flow smoother.
You need girlfriends!! Friends that will make you laugh, let you cry or bring you a bowl of ice cream as you vent. Some adult conversation with a female that understands you will bless your socks off. Whether you are going out and having fun or just chatting on the phone, you need a friend or two that are there for you.
But, not just anyone can be your support system. Ask God to send you women that will pray for you, tell you when you are wrong, be honest with you and continually point you towards God. They don’t have to be deep and spiritual all the time, but, they should have a real relationship with God. You should be able to laugh together, cry together, hang out and have a good time together. You don’t have to impress them and can just be yourself around them without feeling judged.
**Special note – Wives should only have support systems/friends that are pro-marriage! This will make or break you. When your husband refused to pick his dirty clothes up off the floor and had the audacity to tell you that he will do it when he feels good and ready and to leave him alone about it….. (Why was I rolling my eyes as I wrote that?? lol Pray church.)……you need a “pro-marriage” friend helping you through your frustration. You don’t need the friend that goes into “Oh no he didn’t girl. You can do better than him” mode. As frustrating as the challenges of marriage can be, we need rationale friends that will pray us through the challenges.
This is my FAVORITE!!!! Yes, Lord, Momcations are a must. What is a Momcation? It is when you go away by yourself………(let that set in for a minute) Where do you go? It is completely up to you. You could spend the day at the spa or go on a 3-day Momcation at a hotel near your favorite outlet mall. The whole point is that you are able to get away and spend time rejuvenating, relaxing, unwinding. Clearing your mind and getting back to yourself. If you can’t afford to spend any money, find a nice quiet park and read a book. Pack a lunch and spend the day watching the tree’s blow in the wind. There is a Momcation for every budget and is based on what you need to do so you can unwind.
I try to have at least 2 Momcations a year. I find a nice hotel someplace with a couple of my favorite restaurants near it. My Momcations are normally consumed with binge watching tv and eating all my favorite foods. The biggest excitement I experienced at my last Momcation was when I was able to jump in the car at 7:45 pm and not spend 15 minutes yelling “Where is the diaper bag? Cut all the lights off. We are late. Let’s go. Don’t hit your sister. When did you spill juice all over your shirt?” It was exhilarating! lol But, normally by day 3, I am missing my tribe and ready to go home.
Evaluate your Motherhood experience and see if any of these could be added to your life. Comment below and let me know how it works out for you.
Heavenly Father, I pray for my sister that is reading this right now. I pray that you would give her the wisdom and vision to see what she needs to do so that Motherhood can be more enjoyable for her. Where she needs peace, bless her with the opportunity to settle herself and just breath. Surround her with women that will support and encourage her. Give her a desire to speak to you more as you guide her through this amazing journey. Most importantly, touch your daughter’s heart and remind her of your unfailing love for her.
Sincerely your daughter,